Friday 31 May 2013

Brave Review



So I have finally caved into peer pressure and watched Disney Pixar’s CGI rose-tinted glasses wearing ‘historic’ Scotland movie, Brave. 

Before we begin, I better explain something. The reason why I did not see this film when it first came out was because it looked corny. I live in Scotland and if it’s one thing I cannot stand is movies and TV shows that pander to tourist stereo types. I know that sounds snobbish but I really don’t have a problem with it if it’s actually funny. But a lot of films that try to do it that just aren’t. I saw the trailer for this film and I got that impression.

However, I have now seen it and I’ll admit it was better than I thought it would be. That said though, it wasn’t anything special. The animation was really good and so was a lot of the comedy. 

But besides that it was pretty boring. First of all there was almost zero plot. It’s about a queen who holds an archery contest to decide who gets to wed her daughter, Merida. Being against the whole thing Merida finds a witch and asks her to cast a spell to change her mum. Her mum is transformed into a bear and Merida has to find away to undo it. 

And that’s it…there’s no plot twists and nothing else happens. Also, going back to the jokes; a lot of them are funny but most of them are the same one about Merida trying to sneak a bear into the castle.
Then there are the plot holes. Merida is told by the witch that her mum will be stuck as a bear forever if the spell is not undone in two days. She and her mum spend an entire day in the woods and when they return to the castle, no-one seems to have noticed. 

A princess and a queen go missing and no-one notices…right. Also, Merida’s three little brothers also transform into bears later on. No-one seems to notice that they have gone missing either and when it comes to trying to break the spell, Merida and no-one else seems to care about them, yet they do care about breaking the spell when it comes to the queen. 

Also I think Merida is a witch herself. My reasoning for this; she is indestructible. Case study one: She’s flung from a horse and not injured. Case study two:  Falls through a rotten floorboard, through a good ten foot of air and hits a stone floor; not injured. Case study three: swiped by a bear; not injured. Yeah, if all three of those things happened to you in one day, you’d be dead. 

Brave isn’t a terrible film, it’s just bland. That’s what they should have called it: Bland. And while it does not overly pander to Scottish stereo-types, save the ginger hair and Merida’s head being shaped like a turnip, it was just boring. 

Brave gets 5/10.

Friday 24 May 2013

Blade of The Divided Review



It’s Friday again and time for another ebook review (you lucky people). Up this week is Blade of the Divided, the second in CJ Sullivan’s series about angels. 

If you have not read the first one then I seriously suggest you do before taking a look at this one. Although the second book will fill you in on the main points of its predecessor, you will probably be confused.

Anyway, Blade of the Divided starts off three days after where Wings of the Divided ended. For recap purposes, fallen angel Laphelle turned against the forces of evil - who he was working for - and lopped his wings off. He wakes up in a church where Gidyon - a good angel - finds him. Gidyon was also in the previous tale fighting against Laphelle and his mismatched band of doom bringers. After convincing Laphelle that he is the main player in a prophecy the two set off to find out how said prophecy ends and what it has to do with them.

This was a good sequel to the original. Laphelle and Gidyon’s clash of personality’s leads to some very funny situations as well as deeper moments between the two and you can see a profound, steady change in both characters as the story progresses. Other characters from the first book also make a welcome return, like Noam and Malynko (though there was not enough of Noam in my opinion). 

One thing I did not like much was the constant change of settings; it just felt a little disorientating. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed some of the worlds Laphelle and Gidyon travelled too and they were all well portrayed, but I just didn’t think so many locations were needed. 

Also there were a few moments when I felt things went a little over the top, which I will not spoil here *coughtalkingdragoncough*. 

But ultimately this was an enjoyable and funny story. The dark moments were also very gritty and edgy, which added yet another dimension to the mix. I loved the characters and I enjoyed the comedy, but I missed Edenton. 

Blade of the Divided gets 7/10. 
You can buy it here.

Thursday 16 May 2013

AfterLife Book Review



Let’s talk about zombies. Oh I’m sorry, the undead. No, I mean mortuis. What’s that last one again? I have been reading AfterLife by SP Cloward. 

If you haven’t guessed already this book is about the above. Or more specifically, one man’s journey of coming to terms with being undead. That person is Wes. Our story starts off with Wes perched on the edge of the roof of his apartment block, drinking up the courage to commit suicide. Anyway he thinks better off it and overdoses instead. 

He then wakes up the next morning feeling seriously ill and unable to talk. Things get a little scary for Wes after he goes to a clinic, only to be told that he is dead. Wes does a runner, ends up back at his flat and subsequently begins to decompose. A few days later he is collected by an organisation called AfterLife; a community of the undead. 

The organisation takes care of Wes and starts teaching him how to adapt to his new life, while also training him in self-defence. But the evil Atumra - a community of nasty undead people go after him when they learn that he has a unique gift. 

I liked this book. The author put a fresh spin on the zombie and vampire legends to create a unique premise. While Wes and his friends are undead and therefore cannot age, they are not indestructible. They consume energy off living people by a technique called ‘soul-syncing’. This cuts their victim’s life but allows the mortui repair their own body. 

Also the main characters are very likeable and the story gets off to a fast-paced start with a lot of dark humour. However, I felt the story began to falter about half way through and becomes a bit slow. Things do pick up again later on though. 

The dialogue was one thing that did really annoy me. A lot of the characters, save Wes and Seth, sound like robots when they talked. If they were not stating the obvious they were over explaining things. Do people really talk like that? Most don’t and it made a lot of the co-characters flat and boring.

AfterLife gets 6/10. 

Friday 10 May 2013

Star Trek Into Darkness Review



What? Two movie reviews in one day? It must be Double Feature Friday again! So anyway, I’m just back from seeing the new Star Trek film, Into Darkness. Throw everything you think you know about the hit sci-fi show out of the airlock because in typical JJ Abrams’ style, we are tearing up the rule book once again. 

First of all I will come right out and say it, I loved this film. I was worried it would fall curse to the sequel but it lived up to the hype. The special effects were top notch and the action comes at you thick and fast, keeping you on the edge of your seat. 

That said though, while the first film (in this series) I found difficult to criticise, this one left me with a few. They are quite minor though but in the interests of fairness I’m going to address them. 

If you saw the first Star Trek (again in this series) you’ll know that a few of the characters say the legendary lines that they’re best known for. However, Into Darkness seems to go a bit overkill with this, especially with McCoy and Scotty. I lost count of how many time McCoy started a sentence with: “I’m a doctor, not a *insert unusual, comedic comparison here*”. Scotty on the other hand was unusual metaphors. Also, I know every Hollywood movie has to have a “cool moment” when the main character says something cool and witty but again, it happens far too often in this film and at times it became very clique. 

Another criticism of mine is the action. I know I praised it earlier but in this film, it never fucking stops. If something isn’t exploding, falling from the sky, exploding some more, everyone’s shouting followed by more explosions - then you’ve reached the credits. Don’t get me wrong, I loved all the action but it was a bit too full on at times. This movie never slowed down for a minute to take a breath. It’s like someone Star Trek on crack. 

One thing I did love is the twist near the end. Once you find out who John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch) really is, you will probably act smug like me and think you know how it will end. Trust me though; you have absolutely no idea. 

Also another petit gripe of mine with this film if how often the crew have lucky, skin-of-the-teeth, escapes. I know again that this happens in most high-octane (or should that be rocket fuel?) movies but it happens at least three times in this film, again making a bit over the top. 

Despite all that though, Into Darkness lives up to expectations and definitely delivers what it promises. I don’t know if I would say it was better than the previous one, but at the same time I wouldn’t say it was any worse. The ending itself though makes the silly bits worth enduring.

Into Darkness gets 8/10.

A Knight's Tale Review

Ok, so I've taken a break from reading indie novels this week to bring you a film review (only because I've not finished the book that I'm reading...shh).

Anyway, I watched A Knight's Tale earlier this week for the first time in a few years. This isn't a new film, or even recent, given that it came out in 2001. The movie stars the late Heath Ledger as William, a peasant who pretends to be a knight in order to enter jousting tournaments and win money for his friends. William is only forced into the situation after his master dies from a jousting related injury and obviously, cannot therefore finish the tournament. After successfully riding in his place and winning, he convinces his friends Watt and Roland to help him continue with the charade.

A Knight's Tale is one of those films that doesn't take itself too seriously. It does use the over-used movie storyline of the liar-revealed but it works well because the concept is so different to so many other films. The story is simple to follow and there is a lot of great acting, especially from Heath Ledger. It isn't a laugh-a-minute comedy but the jokes are usually dialogue driven but not silly.

It is also good to watch a film starring Heath Ledger again. I feel he would have went on to star in many greater roles if he was still with us. And considering that he was only about 20 when A Knight's Tale was made, even then you could tell how natural his gift for acting was.

If you've not seen it, I definitely suggest you do. This film is a great little comedy gem.

Thursday 9 May 2013

The Best Moment Blog Award - Apparently I've Won Something

So I have won an award from my fellow author and fellow blogger CJ Sullivan.
Apparently I'm an inspiration to people everywhere...or more likely just the seven people who follow me.
Seriously though, thank you to everyone who stops by to read my funny, sometimes deadpan reviews on other people's books and sometimes video games and films. I appreciate everyone's support. :D

Ok CJ, I've made my acceptance speech, where's my trophy and where's my cash prize?

I should be nice and pass this on to someone. Erm...Travis Luedke, you can have it. The cheque and trophy are in the mail. Expected delivery date is January 15 2135. Sorry.

Friday 3 May 2013

Lighthouse Short Stories Review



Changing gear this week I have been reading Lighthouse Short Stories by Carol Carroll. The book comprises of four short stories set in different times and different locations. Yet they all revolve around the central themes of love and lighthouses. 

My favourite story of the four had to be the first one - Light of My Life. The plot was a little different, which made it interesting and the characters had a lot of emotion behind them. It tells the tale of sixteen-year-old Emily who is packed off to marry a stranger, Darcy the lighthouse keeper, in 1902 after her mum dies. 

The Last Chance was a decent story though I felt the characters were a little wooden. I did quite like Rock Island Light but the ending was a bit disappointing and did not quite make sense given all the earlier paranormal happenings in the tale. The Sloop was again a decent tale but I didn’t really feel like it went anywhere. 

All in all this is a decent read if you enjoy romance novels or are not keen on reading an epic tome like Game of Thrones or other such books that are so fat that it takes ten years to finish reading them. 

The storytelling was done well, though there could have been more emphasis on the settings. My biggest gripe though has to be with the dialogue. I found a lot of the characters overstated what they were doing or about to do, which wasn’t necessary when most of the time it was so obvious anyway. It just seemed a bit robotic in places - people don’t really talk like that. 

This was a decent, short set of stories; ideal for a gentle read. 

Lighthouse Short Stories gets 6/10.